Thursday, November 10, 2011


So, the title says it all.  Today I am feeling rather persnickety.  Ornery.  Irritable.  Grumpy.  Yes, you could even call me crotchety.  In fact, my facebook updates from today are the very definition of persnickety:

Super early this morning, I queried: "Is there anyone in your life that you love dearly, but still find yourself wanting to punch in the face on a regular basis?  Oh, neither."

Yes, I had a specific person in mind when I typed that update.  And, yes, I definitely wanted to punch this person in the face.  I know, I know...why so violent??  I have no excuse.  Punching people in the face is just my immediate thought when people annoy me.  Unless I've been watching Phineas and Ferb with the boys, in which case, my initial response to any irritation is to mutter under my breath, "Curse you, <insert name of irritant here> the Platypus!" followed quickly by the inevitable thought, "man, I wish I could punch you in the face."

My next facebook update was around 11:00 a.m., and had a visual aid:

Update:  "If you work at McDonalds and I order a small chocolate peppermint milkshake, and you bring me a chocolate milkshake with a shot of peppermint syrup in a separate cup, please expect this look from me right before I ask you to go back and mix them together. Seriously?"
Again, persnickety.  My apologies to the hapless Mickey-D's worker who incurred the wrath of my persnickety-ness this morning.  But, come on...are you serious right now, lady?  I know you're not working at Burger King, so "have it your way" isn't your official mantra, but I really don't feel like it's asking too much to have the peppermint infused into my milkshake before it's handed to me through the drive thru window.  You wouldn't hand me two all beef patties in one container and put the special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, and sesame seed buns in another, now would you?  Ok, then.

Most recently, I've had another little bout of persnickety-ness that also requires a picture for you to get the full effect.  Take a look at this:

Said the night wind to the little lamb, DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE??? Or maybe I should say, said the night wind to the little Billy Goat. Yes, you're seeing this goat of a son ATE THE LEATHER OFF OF HIS SHOE!!  WHO DOES THAT??!!  Are you for real?  Did this really just happen?  Yes, it's true.  My son, whose stupid baby shoes cost more than mine do, ruined his nice church boots by chewing the leather off of them like a freaking goat.  Unbelievable.

Ok.  Deep breath.  Relax.

I was going to add some pictures of some of the new pieces of jewelry I've been working on, but I decided that this entry is not one that I wish to associate with my jewelry, for obvious reasons.  So, instead, let's turn that frown upside down and focus on the positives here:

GOD'S UGLY OLD BLANKET-WRAPPED GIFTS VOLUME 2 (see earlier post for clarification if you're completely lost right now):

Gift: being surrounded by loved ones
Wrapper: said loved ones doing annoying things for which a good punch in the face seems the practical solution

Gift: a new McDonalds opened up within walking distance of my house
Wrapper: incompetent workers who bring out my earlier violent tendencies and make me want to punch them in the face

Gift: a super cute one year old son who is getting new teeth
Wrapper: the Billy Goat, and, you guessed it, an unnatural desire to punch my own child in the face.


Colleen said...

Kalani, you crack me up. And yes, as a stay-at-home mom now to an almost 5 year old girl, a 3 year old girl who screams frequently (horrible 3s anyone?), a 15 month old boy billygoat (they could be friends), 18 weeks pregnant with #4, and a husband who works 12 hours a day in a tiny town in southwest Texas, I frequently want to punch people in the face.

Jana said...

I am so glad you posted your persnickety face. Awesome. :) And you have the cutest goat i have ever seen!

F-A-N-G-U-P-O said...

Hahahaha.....I love reading your blog, you're personality totally comes out in your typing and I feel like I'm talking to you when I'm reading it! Persnickety...we all have those days!