Super early this morning, I queried: "Is there anyone in your life that you love dearly, but still find yourself wanting to punch in the face on a regular basis? Oh, right...um...yeaaaah...me neither."
Yes, I had a specific person in mind when I typed that update. And, yes, I definitely wanted to punch this person in the face. I know, I know...why so violent?? I have no excuse. Punching people in the face is just my immediate thought when people annoy me. Unless I've been watching Phineas and Ferb with the boys, in which case, my initial response to any irritation is to mutter under my breath, "Curse you, <insert name of irritant here> the Platypus!" followed quickly by the inevitable thought, "man, I wish I could punch you in the face."
My next facebook update was around 11:00 a.m., and had a visual aid:
Most recently, I've had another little bout of persnickety-ness that also requires a picture for you to get the full effect. Take a look at this:
Said the night wind to the little lamb, DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE??? Or maybe I should say, said the night wind to the little Billy Goat. Yes, you're seeing this correctly...my goat of a son ATE THE LEATHER OFF OF HIS SHOE!! WHO DOES THAT??!! Are you for real? Did this really just happen? Yes, it's true. My son, whose stupid baby shoes cost more than mine do, ruined his nice church boots by chewing the leather off of them like a freaking goat. Unbelievable.
Ok. Deep breath. Relax.
I was going to add some pictures of some of the new pieces of jewelry I've been working on, but I decided that this entry is not one that I wish to associate with my jewelry, for obvious reasons. So, instead, let's turn that frown upside down and focus on the positives here:
GOD'S UGLY OLD BLANKET-WRAPPED GIFTS VOLUME 2 (see earlier post for clarification if you're completely lost right now):
Gift: being surrounded by loved ones
Wrapper: said loved ones doing annoying things for which a good punch in the face seems the practical solution
Gift: a new McDonalds opened up within walking distance of my house
Wrapper: incompetent workers who bring out my earlier violent tendencies and make me want to punch them in the face
Gift: a super cute one year old son who is getting new teeth
Wrapper: the Billy Goat, and, you guessed it, an unnatural desire to punch my own child in the face.