Tuesday, December 13, 2011

If you want a surprise, don't tell my dad.

My dad is a mixed bag of enigmas.  Sometimes I go years thinking he does things for absolutely no reason, only to glimpse the illogical logic in his thinking years after the fact.  But that's neither here nor there...I'm just prepping you for the ridiculousness to follow.  Bottom line: my dad does awesome, crazy things, and the way he gives gifts makes me laugh. 

Let me just say, first of all, that I really do love the presents my dad gives.  They are usually thoughtful -- or at the very least, they are purchased from my list so that I will definitely like them, and, depending on whether he went shopping on his payday or not, they are also frequently rather...um...bounteous.  The best example I can think of to illustrate this point happened on my 16th birthday.  The year that I turned 16, sweater vests were the "it" item of the year.  Argyle, solid colors, flowers...you name it.  Sweater vests of all colors and varieties were very in style.  So, a couple of weeks before my birthday, my dad and I were window shopping at the mall, and I happened to point out a sweater vest or two that I really liked.  Fast forward to the morning of my birthday.  I distinctly remember sitting on my parents' bed, anxiously awaiting my presents (because I knew that one of them was the paperwork for my DRIVER'S LICENSE!), and in walked my dad with a MOUNTAIN of presents in his arms.  I was speechless.  As I tore into the gifts, I was really excited to find that he had purchased BOTH of the sweater vests I had taken a liking to when we shopped at the mall.  So, I opened the next box...score! another cool sweater vest!  And another box...wow...ANOTHER great sweater vest!  I'm sure you get the idea by now, so let's skip the rest of the unwrapping and I'll just tell you the end results: Ten.  Ten sweater vests.  TEN SWEATER VESTS.  And the best part?  My mom said, as I was opening the last box, "If you can believe this, I made him put back HALF of the ones he picked out."  HAHAHAHA...yep, that's my dad.  Why settle for one when you can find ten?!  So, keeping this story in mind...

This morning, I'm sitting on my couch chuckling to myself about another facet of the way my dad gives presents.  I think I've mentioned my little brother Steven, who sometimes wraps his gifts in whatever random nasty thing he finds lying around when he goes to look for wrapping paper: old blankets, trash bags, stuffed inside the pocket of an old pair of pants...you get the idea.  He typically gives AMAZING gifts, but you'd never know it by looking at the wrapper.  Well, the more I thought about it, I realized that Steven comes by this crazy habit quite naturally because my dad does the exact same thing.  The only difference between them is, Steven can keep a secret when it comes to gifts, whereas my dad is THE WORST secret keeper EVER.  No, really...this guy cannot keep a secret to save his life as far as gifts are concerned.  He called me last week, and the conversation went something like this:

Me: Hi Pod...what's up?  [I call him "Pod," which is short for "Padre."]
Pod: Hey...I got your Christmas present today!  Wanna know what it is?
Me: Nah, I think I'd like to be surprised on Christmas Day.
Pod: Well, I'm not gonna wrap it, so it really won't be that much of a surprise.  I think you'll really like it.  You'll probably want to know what it is ahead of time, that way you can ask for stuff to go with it.  Wanna know what it is?
Me: (realizing that he is going to keep harassing me until I cave and let him tell me what he bought) Ok, Pod...what's my present?
Pod: A SOLDERING IRON!  I got it for your jewelry so that you can make lots of different stuff!

For those of you who aren't familiar with soldering irons (as I wasn't before I got back into this whole jewelry making world), a soldering tool helps you fuse two pieces of metal together.  It's basically sort of a miniature hand-held welding device.  I'm really happy my dad is getting this for me because having access to a soldering tool will open up a whole new world for me in terms of jewelry design, and I am REALLY excited about that.  So, Pod and I discuss some of the great things I'm going to be able to do with this tool and try to figure out what other accessories I might need in order to take full advantage of this amazing present.  A couple of days later, I get another call from him:

Me: Hi Pod...whatcha doin?
Pod: Oh, just driving to work.  Guess what I have sitting here in the front seat with me????
Me: My Christmas present?
Pod: Yep, and you're gonna love it!  And guess what?
Me: What?
Pod: I got you TWO soldering tools.  A big one and a smaller one...just in case you need to work on different sized projects.  And then, while I was at it, I also got you a BLOWTORCH!

HOLY CRAP.  A BLOWTORCH??!!!  Seriously?  So, basically, there's still two weeks until Christmas, and I'm thinking if he doesn't slow down, I'm going to have full blown welding gear to open (read: look at, since it won't be wrapped) on Christmas morning.  Again, why stop at one when you can have two?  And really, while we're at it, why stop at a soldering tool when you can have a BLOWTORCH!?  Oh, how I love my funny dad.

Anyway, I added a coupon to my Etsy shop for those happy few of you who take the time to read my ramblings.  Type "BLOG12" in the coupon code at checkout and get free shipping!  Be sure to look for my new SOLDERED jewelry after the holidays, and until then, here's some of my latest stuff: